The Body Love Wellness Blog Has Moved!

Hello darling readers!

Please make sure to change your bookmarks.

The Body Love Wellness Blog has moved to 

www.bodylovewellness.com.

Check there often for the latest blog entries, info on classes and events, body love products, and much more!

Thank you as always for reading!

Happy holidays!

The Body Love Wellness Blog Has Moved!

Hello darling readers!

Please make sure to change your bookmarks.

The Body Love Wellness Blog has moved to 

www.bodylovewellness.com.

Check there often for the latest blog entries, info on classes and events, body love products, and much more!

Thank you as always for reading!

Happy holidays!

Give The Gift That Keeps On Giving -- Receiving!

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

How often have you heard the aphorism, "it's better to give than to receive?"

Well, I've heard it a lot, and I must beg to differ. I think they are equally wonderful, but receiving has gotten too bad of a rap.

Many of us have become accustomed to over-giving. We over-give of our time, our brainpower, our emotional energy. We do this all year long, and then heighten our over-giving for the holidays, where we buy more presents for others than our budgets really allow, we make food that we don't really like in order to please others, we endure lots of parties we don't want to attend, etc. etc. etc. It's as if we're all suffering from "Over-Giving Syndrome." Amazingly, we do this at the time of year when the nights are the longest, when our bodies are telling us to rest more, to dream more, to restore our energy.

Giving, when done out of a true desire to give, is indeed beautiful and wonderful. But you can't get to that point of pleasurable giving until you've really received.

In other words, you can't pour eggnog from an empty container of eggnog.

(Mmmm... eggnog....)

But I digress. In this season of giving, I want to talk a little about the art of receiving as a cure for Over-Giving Syndrome. How is it done? How do you replenish your energy? How do you refill the eggnog container?

(Mmmm... eggnog...)

If you've been reading this blog for a while and trying my tips, then you've already learned some great tips on receiving. But receiving can be as simple as strategically employing a few simple words.

1) Say "No" More Often -- "No" is such simple word, yet so hard to say when you're unaccustomed to it! "No" is one of the best words to use when you feel your energy waning and know that you need to protect it. Practice saying "no" to small things first, just to get used to it. If you typically have trouble saying "no", remember that "no" is a more loving word than it's given credit for. When you say "no" to something you don't want, you are being loving to yourself, your desires, and your needs. In addition, you're being loving to the person who is requesting something of you, because they know they know where you stand and won't suffer through your resentment for "making you" do something you don't want to do.

2) Say "Yes" More Often -- How often do you say "no" to things you want and say "yes" (or acquiese) to things you don't want? In order to receive joyously, you also have to learn to say "yes" to the things you want. Just like saying "no" to the things you don't want, saying "yes" to things you do want can take some negotiation. Say "yes" to lunch invitations, phone calls from friends, curling up with your favorite new novel, and other things that make you happy. If you want to refill your proverbial cup of eggnog, you'll have to start saying "Yes" when someone cute at the deli accidentally drops it in your cart.

(Did someone say eggnog?)

3) Say "Thank You" (Without Caveats) More Often -- Way back when, whenever someone complimented me on my outfit, I would immediately blurt out something like "It was so on sale!" or "Really? It's so old!" or any number of horrendous things that deflected the compliment and made the complimenter sorry she ever said anything. (Okay, so I still do this 10% of the time. I admit it.) I had no idea that I could just say, "Thank you!" I also had no idea that simply saying "thank you" would have the desired effects of (a) allowing me to receive the compliment, (b) making me feel good, and (c) making the complimenter feel good about complimenting me. When someone gives you a gift or a compliment (which is also a gift), saying things like "you shouldn't have" or "oh, no, I look terrible" has the completely undesired effects of (a) deflecting the compliment so that it doesn't sink in and get received, (b) makes you feel bad, and (c) makes the complimenter feel bad because they were just told that their gift was not appreciated or accepted and that they were wrong for giving it.

Who knew it was so easy to receive? A few strategic "yesses", "noes" and "thank you's" and you'll be feeling replenished in no time. Try it and comment to let me know how it goes.

Wishing you a very happy holiday! Have some eggnog for me, will ya?

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When you're giving this holiday, give the gift of Body Love! Get Golda's Body Love Meditation CD for $15 including FREE priority shipping! Each additional CD is only $10!

Now you can get Golda's web site and blog all in one place! Check out www.bodylovewellness.com and click "blog" to read the blog!

There Is No Emergency

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

I don't remember much Hebrew from my college Hebrew classes, but one word in particular has stuck with me all of these years. That word is "l'hitragesh."

"L'hitragesh" is a short little verb that translates to "to make oneself crazy."

I have always loved that Hebrew had a simple word for something that we do to ourselves all the time. This week, I could have received the L'hitragesh Award For Excellence In Making Myself Crazy. From struggling to properly master audio recordings for my Body Love Meditations CD right before I needed them for Re/Dress's Maxi Craft event, to playing around with HTML for my new web site to get it up in time so that I could save myself a $20 renewal fee on my old one, I was making myself bonkers for little or no reason. It was as if I was using an old paradigm (my old lawyer-who-needs-to-treat-almost-everything-like-an-emergency-paradigm) for my very different current life as a Health At Every Size counselor.

Many of you are probably feeling pretty crazed right now. Between holiday shopping, year-end work requirements and family obligations, this joyous time of year can be more stressful than anything.

Your crazy-making skills (and mine) have probably done you some good at times. They may have given you that extra kick of adrenaline to get you through a difficult situation or helped you meet an immovable deadline. But if you find that you're making yourself crazy a lot (i.e., feeling overwhelmed all the time, feeling like everything you do needs to be perfect, trying to meet impossible deadlines, etc.), then you may want to rethink your approach. Here are some tips for doing just that.

1) Make A List -- Lengthy "to do" lists can be daunting. That's why I love to use this technique recommended by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Take a piece of paper, and make a line down the middle. At the top of one column, write "Things I Will Do Today." At the top of the other column, write "Things I Would Like The Universe To Do." Under the first column, write down some things that you reasonably think you will get done today. I recommend listing just the things that you want to do and/or those that are absolute requirements. Write all the other stuff (things you should do but don't want to, things you can't figure out how to do) in the other column. I know this technique may sound strange to some of you, but every time I do it I feel immeasurably better. And you would not believe the way that things in both columns seem to get done.

2) Do The Easiest Thing First -- When in overwhelm mode, we often want to tackle the things that seem most difficult, so that we can get them out of the way. I find, however, that if I start with the easy, no-brainer stuff, my feeling of overwhelm starts to lift because I'm crossing more things off my list.

3) Know Your Value -- Many of us have a tendency to go into perfectionist, people-pleasing mode -- especially at this time of year. One way to move out of perfectionism and people -pleasing is to get in touch with your own intrinsic value. This can't necessarily be done as quickly as writing a to do list, but one way to quickly connect with your value is to use an affirmation like, "I am enough" or "I am perfect just as I am." These affirmations are especially good when you want to release feelings of overwhelm.

4) Ask Yourself: Is This An Emergency? -- Finally, try asking yourself if what feels like an emergency is actually an emergency. Most of the time, it is not. And know, that when it is, you will deal with it as best you can.

As always, let me know how you're doing! Comment below if you use these tips, or have some other suggestions!

Give the gift of Body Love this holiday! Get Golda's Body Love Meditation CD for $15 including FREE priority shipping! Each additional CD is only $10!

Now you can get Golda's web site and blog all in one place! Check out www.bodylovewellness.com and click "blog" to read the blog!

Finally, if you love the blog and want to stay up to date on all the BLW excitement, please take a moment to join our email list below!
 


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Find The Beauty

Just recently, I found myself experiencing something that is rare for me these days, but used to be part of my every day experience -- body hatred. I felt like I was emotionally picking on myself all day. My hair was never right, my clothes were never right, my face looked puffy, and I felt more out of shape than usual. No matter what I did I couldn't seem to get back to the much happier place that I had come to know as normal.

Luckily, I was able to move through this experience by using two methods -- one that I have used for years and one that is new to me, but both that I highly recommend.

This first method, free writing, is one that I love to use with Body Love Wellness clients. It's a great way to detox your brain of negative thoughts or to connect with your internal truth and wisdom. Sometimes I ask clients to free write on a particular topic that comes up in our sessions, such as "good and bad food" or "being perfect" or "being thin." Very often, clients get in touch with their beliefs through this process, and they're then able to work with them or change them.

In my case, after a week or so of living with this uncomfortable (and yet familiar) feeling of body hatred, I decided to spend some time free writing on the topic of beauty. After a few pages, I wrote "since you can't see it in yourself right now, start looking for beauty everywhere."

Something about that advice resonated with me. This second method of seeing the beauty everywhere started to move me out of my feelings of ugliness. I started noticing beauty everywhere -- in the stark early winter trees, in the crinkly fine skin of the elderly lady who sat next to me on the subway, in the way an older sister held her younger sister's little backpack. I started to see beauty again hundreds of times over that day, and the next morning I felt like myself again.

It was incredibly simple, and, well, beautiful.

So this week, I would love for you to try either of these tips.

1) Take some time to free write, either without a topic or on a topic that's troubling you. Let your mind go where it wants. Don't worry about editing or puncuation. Just write!
2) Make it a point to see the beauty in your surroundings as you go about your day. Try this for one day (or even one minute) and notice any changes.

As always, please comment below!

Attention New Yorkers! Join me at Maxi Craft and get your shop on! Re/Dress, the super fabulous plus sized vintage clothing store , is hosting a night of gorgeous handmade products by local designers. Come chat with me about Body Love and score some great holiday gifts! 

DATE: Wednesday, December 9, 2009

TIME: 7:00-9:00PM

LOCATION: Re/Dress NYC 109 Boerum Place Brooklyn, NY
And as always, let's stay connected. Please stop by my Facebook group and become a member of the Body Love Wellness Group! You can also follow me on Twitter. 

Be sure to check out our new podcast!  Body Love Wellness Podcast -- Find The Beauty

ONLY ONE MORE DAY -- Register Now For the Body Love Boost!

Join Golda for the December Body Love Boost Teleclass

And Have A Much Happier Holiday...

This December, give yourself one of the greatest gifts of all by
focusing on your own wellness!

Whether you're tired of dieting and don't know where to start or need a Body Love refresher, this teleclass is for you!  This 3 week intensive will help give you specific tools and support to help shift you into a more loving connection with your body and heal your relationship with food.

Imagine feeling great at holiday parties instead of feeling stuffed or starving!

Here's what you get when you join us.

• Learn how to eat healthfully without dieting.
• Learn how to eat intuitively and connect with your body's needs.
• Feel a peaceful and stress-free relationship with food and eating.
• Feel comfortable in your skin, no matter what the situation.
• Gain new confidence in yourself and your choices.
• Be as healthy as you can be, no matter what your size.
• Be welcomed into a community of people who desire to create similar changes in their lives.
• Recordings of each class so that you can listen in whenever you'd like!
  

The juicy details:

DATES:  3 Thursdays, December 3rd, 10th, and 17th (STARTS THIS THURSDAY!)

TIME:  8PM --9:15PM

FORMAT: Call-in from anywhere  Register now to receive your call-in info.

COST:  Only $60 total for all of the above!

An Interview With Kira Nerusskaya Of Fat Girls Float

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

I met Kira Nerusskaya over a year ago, at a Fashion Week march advocating bigger models on the catwalk. She herself was larger than life, gorgeous and spirited. She told me that she was working on a documentary about plus sized women all over the world, and asked if I wanted to be interviewed. I said yes, and she interviewed me right away, asking me some of the most interesting, prescient questions about life as a fat woman that I had never been asked before.

Now Kira's documentary, entitled Fat Girls Float, is even closer to becoming a reality. She's logged hours and hours of footage, has trailers on youtube, and has teamed up with Kickstarter.com to further fund the project. Kira must raise $5,000 by 7PM on December 13th in order to keep the money she's raised at Kickstarter. People who want to support the project can donate any amount starting at $1, with investors of $500 or more receive a producer credit. After spending thousands of dollars of her own money to fund the project, receiving the support of donors all over the world means a lot to her. "I'm very very grateful to everyone who gave, whether it was a $1 or $500," she told me. I'm very very touched."

Her passion for the project is evident in more than her words. Kira has traveled to New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, London, Paris and a few cities in Russia to interview subjects for her documentary. Overall, she found that the experience of being fat was very similar for her interviewees. "The one thing that is so interesting about all of these stories from fat women all over the globe is the fact that regardless of who tells their story, it's really the collective story of our collective plight." She found herself feeling a profound connection to her subjects because of this shared experience. "It was a wonderful experience to meet up with all my fat sisters," she said. After finishing this movie, she hopes to make a second documentary of interviewees from countries in Africa and Asia.

At the same time, she found that many interviews were deeply emotional and often cathartic. "There is a lot of emotion that we've been carrying around inside our bodies about our bodies and this provides an opportunity for some people to let go of that." Kira wants fat women to let go of internalized fat shame. "People are programmed to think that their body is bad and fat and terrible and ugly." Instead, she wants fat women to love their bodies and stand up for themselves as much as possible. She advises, "we need to live with greater perseverance...and regardless of whatever anyone else might think, we need to be proactive in defending ourselves against unneccessary discrimination."

To her, Fat Girls Float is more than a documentary about fat women, it is a call to end size discrimination as a whole. She compares this fight to the fight to end discrimination by Martin Luther King, Jr. and Harvey Milk. "I want people to take the negative component out of everything and see people as people." She sees the audience for Fat Girls Float as going beyond just fat women. "I hope its embraced by the fat acceptance movement, I hope its embraced by America, and I hope its embraced by women who don't know [about the movement]."

Expect to see the full movie of Fat Girls Float by the Fall of 2010.

To donate, go to Kickstarter here.
Check out the Fat Girls Float Blog Here.

My 3 week teleclass starts this Thursday, so sign up here before it's too late! 

And as always, let's stay connected. Please stop by my Facebook group and become a member of the Body Love Wellness Group! You can also follow me on Twitter.

Give Yourself A Fabulous Gift This Holiday -- Join Me For The Body Love Boost!

Join Golda for the December Body Love Boost Teleclass

And Have A Much Happier Holiday...

This December, give yourself one of the greatest gifts of all by
focusing on your own wellness!

Whether you're tired of dieting and don't know where to start or need a Body Love refresher, this teleclass is for you!  This 3 week intensive will help give you specific tools and support to help shift you into a more loving connection with your body and heal your relationship with food.

Imagine feeling great at holiday parties instead of feeling stuffed or starving!

Here's what you get when you join us.

• Learn how to eat healthfully without dieting.
• Learn how to eat intuitively and connect with your body's needs.
• Feel a peaceful and stress-free relationship with food and eating.
• Feel comfortable in your skin, no matter what the situation.
• Gain new confidence in yourself and your choices.
• Be as healthy as you can be, no matter what your size.
• Be welcomed into a community of people who desire to create similar changes in their lives.
• Recordings of each class so that you can listen in whenever you'd like!
  

The juicy details:

DATES:  3 Thursdays, December 3rd, 10th, and 17th (STARTS THIS THURSDAY!)

TIME:  8PM --9:15PM

FORMAT: Call-in from anywhere  Register now to receive your call-in info.

COST:  Only $60 total for all of the above!

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Want to get the Body Love Wellness newsletter e-mailed to you?

Fabulous Fat Lineage -- Redux

The other night, I found myself watching School of Rock with Jack Black.  I had seen it when it came out, but I had nearly forgotten about this little exchange between the plus-sized Tomika (played by Maryam Hassan) and Jack Black's character, Dewey Finn.

Tomika: [explaining why she is nervous] They'll laugh at me.
Dewey Finn: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno... because I'm fat.
Dewey Finn: Tomika... Ok, you've heard of Aretha Franklin right? She's a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people's minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey Finn: Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I'm sexy, and chubby, man.

Freaking awesome.

So, here's a snippet from "Locating Your Fabulous Fat Lineage" which I wrote last year as I was about to start performing with the now defunct musical improv group, MC Hammerstein.

 *     *     *

Even though I do this work all the time, I still have body image slip-ups -- moments when I feel self conscious or have a momentary desire to limit something I do b/c of how I look.

I recently was asked to join a musical improv comedy group. I love doing musical improv (we basically improvise a 40 minute musical every week) so I was really excited to join. But then, I had one of those moments of self doubt that can be so compounded for those of us who have or have had body image issues. I started thinking that I'd be the biggest woman in the group, and that just snowballed into a whole cascade of insecurities, like, "What if I'm the fattest woman in the group and my voice is off/I sing wrong notes/I'm not funny...."

So I did something that I often tell my clients to do. I found pictures of some of the greatest women comedians and singers and actors who were also fat and fabulous. Immediately, I thought of ones who are still around -- Queen Latifah, Kim Coles, Camryn Manheim, Kathy Bates, Adele, Aretha Franklin. But then I decided to dig a little deeper, and I found some more outrageously gorgeous and talented and fat women. [All quoted info is from Wikipedia.]

Lillian "Diamond Lil" Russell -- "One of the most famous actresses and singers of the late 19th century and early 20th century, known for her beauty and style, as well as for her voice and stage presence."



Sophie Tucker -- "Singer and comedian and one of the most popular entertainers in America during the first two-thirds of the 20th century.... She was billed as The Last of the Red Hot Mamas, as her hearty sexual appetite was a frequent subject of her songs, unusual for female performers of the era."



Willie Mae ("Big Mama") Thornton -- "American Texas blues, rhythm and blues (R&B) singer, and songwriter. She was the first to record the hit song "Hound Dog" in 1952. The song was #1 on the Billboard R&B charts for seven weeks. The B-side was "They Call Me Big Mama," and the single sold almost two million copies."




Kate Smith -- "American singer, best known for her rendition of Irving Berlin's "God Bless America". Smith had a radio, TV and recording career spanning five decades, reaching its most-remembered zenith in the 1940s."

Mahalia Jackson -- "American gospel singer, widely regarded as the best in the history of the genre, and is the first "Queen of Gospel Music". With her powerful, distinct voice, Mahalia Jackson became one of the most influential gospel singers in the world. She recorded about 30 albums (mostly for Columbia Records) during her career, and her 45 rpm records included a dozen "golds" million-sellers."



I'm not saying I sing like Mahalia or photograph like Diamond Lil, but doing this exercise helped remind me that the cultural moment in which we're living is really just a blip. It helped me see myself as part of a lineage of beautiful, talented, outrageous and larger-than-life women who were beloved by audiences for decades.

If they can do that, I can make people laugh in a little theatre on 29th street, even if I go off key sometimes.

Try This: Find images and information about fabulously fat people who have done what you're feeling discouraged about doing. (Trade magazines and web sites are good for this sort of thing when you're looking for people who are not always in the public eye.) Do a collage, journal entry or blog entry about them. Paste your own picture in there for good measure, so that you can see yourself as part of this heritage. Let me know how it goes! 

Have A "Food Coma" Free Thanksgiving

Hello, dear readers! It's good to be back! And just in time for Thanksgiving!

The holidays can bring up a lot of stuff. For some, it's a joyous time of friends, fun, and delicious food. For others, it's difficult and even traumatic. And of course, for many people, the experience of the holidays falls somewhere in between.

The messages we get about food around the holidays can be confronting as well as contradictory. You might have one relative who feels insulted when you don't have seconds of their candied yams, and another relative who admonishes you for how much you're eating. Even if you're now an adult and family members don't feel comfortable actually telling you what to eat, the holidays can bring up those feelings and experiences from childhood and cause you to relive them all over again.

I'm going to share a tip with you that is great to use at the holidays or any time when you're getting contradictory information about what to eat. Sometimes the contradictory information is external (friends or relatives talking about what you should eat) or internal (diet rules from that cabbage diet you did five years ago getting in the way of what you need now).

This Thanksgiving, I want you to talk to yourself and treat yourself as a kindly parent would. This means that you ask yourself what you want to do in a situation, and then follow through and take care of it.
As an example, imagine you're at Thanksgiving dinner. Your Aunt Sally is pushing you to try her pumpkin pie and your father is shooting you a "you had too much food already" glance. Aside from telling them both to shove it, what can you do? Using this tip, take a moment to ask yourself, in a kindly voice, if you would like more pie. Listen to the answer. It might be that you don't want more pumpkin pie, but want more cake. It might be that you're not hungry anymore. Or it might be something else. Listen to the answer and act upon it, knowing that you are doing what you want to do and you've made the best choice for you.

The goal of using this technique is to listen in to what you want to do by treating yourself with love. The point is not to pressure yourself into a decision. In fact, in the example above, you could tell your aunt that you're not sure if you want more pie and want to take some time to see if you do.

This tip is also great to use if you have food allergies or other health concerns where eating what you think you want can be difficult. For example, when I eat wheat, my stomach gets upset and my skin gets itchy. One might think that that would be enough to keep me away from wheat, but I love bagels and bread with a love so fierce that I am loathe to speak of it. About 95% of the time, I'm able to avoid it by enjoying other foods and having the occasional gluten free English muffin. But it ain't easy. So I use this technique often and recommend it to my clients often. For food allergies, I recommend using a loving voice and reminding yourself of why that food is problematic for you. In my case, I would think something like this, "Honey, I know you love bagels but remember how you feel when you eat them? You don't want your stomach to hurt when you're on the phone with your clients. What would you like to have instead?" And then I act on my internal response. Again, the point of this is to treat yourself with love. This technique reminds you that your health is important and that you are loved. You ask yourself lovingly what you need and then give it to yourself lovingly.

When you treat yourself with love by talking to yourself lovingly and acting lovingly, you're better able to stay aware of your true needs and treat yourself in a healing manner.

As always, try this tip and let me know how it goes!

For other tips on getting through the holidays, check out these other tips on blessing your food, intuitive eating at parties, and taking in the sweetness of life.

By the way, we have lots of new and exciting offers at Body Love Wellness! Starting in less than 2 weeks, I'm teaching a 3 week teleclass to support you in your intuitive eating and body love journey. It's only $60 for 3 classes!

And as always, let's stay connected. Please stop by my Facebook group and become a member of the Body Love Wellness Group! You can also follow me on Twitter.

Be sure to check out our new podcast!  Body Love Wellness Podcast -- Have A Food Coma Free Holiday!

Golda On The Radio Today!

Please tune in today (Friday, November 20th)  to "The Skinny On Fat Radio Show", from 1:30-2:15 PM Eastern.  I'll be talking about how to get started with intuitive eating and how to create a loving relationship with your body.

 

Please go to www.realcoachingradio.com at that time to listen in! 

 

To check me out on some past shows, please go to the  Body Love Wellness Facebook page and watch the videos!

Body Love Boost Teleclass Is Starting Soon!

Please join me for the Body Love Boost Teleclass this December!

Whether you're tired of dieting and don't know where to start or need a body love refresher, this teleclass is for you!  This 3 week intensive will help give you specific tools and support to help shift you into a more loving connection with your body and heal your relationship with food.

Imagine feeling great at holiday parties instead of feeling stuffed or starving!

Here's what you get when you join us!

• Learn how to eat healthfully without dieting.
  
• Learn how to eat intuitively and connect with your body's needs.
  
• Create a peaceful and stress free relationship with food and eating.
  
• Feel comfortable in your skin, no matter what the situation.
  
• Gain new confidence in yourself and your choices.
  
• Be as healthy as you can be, no matter what size you are.
  
• Be welcomed into a community of people who desire to create similar changes in their lives.
• Recordings of each class so that you can listen in whenever you'd like!
  

The juicy details:

DATES:  3 Thursdays, December 3rd, 10th, and 17th

TIME:  8PM --9:15PM

FORMAT: Call-in.  Register now to receive your call-in info.

COST:  Only $60!

Click here to register!


Golda Poretsky H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

The Gratitude Attitude

by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com

This is an oldy but a goody.  The Body Love Wellness Blog will be back next week with more new stuff!
 
Most of us have trouble staying present.  We’re either upset or focused on things that have already happened or worried about things that might happen in the future.  Writing out our desires allows us to envision a future that is different than the future we fear might happen.  It grounds us in the fact that the future has not happened yet and that it could be as wonderful as the breadth of our imaginations.


Writing out what you’re grateful for takes you to the present and re-envisions your past.  When you feel grateful for what you have, you ground yourself in the present moment and acknowledge all of the good that you’ve received.  Your list of “gratefuls” can be big or small.  You may even find that you’re grateful for experiences that were otherwise difficult.

To get you started on your “gratefuls” list, here are some examples of the diversity of things you could include.
1) I am grateful for my apartment that is so bright and sunny.
2) I am grateful for my friend Lisa for being such a good friend to me throughout my life.
3) I am grateful for my history degree because it helps me understand the world.
4) I am grateful for my pretty new scarf.
5) I am grateful for being laid off because I know that it is advancing me towards my real career goals.
6) I am grateful for my laptop for being so reliable.
7) I am grateful for the delicious sushi I had for lunch.
8) I am grateful for the car accident I had when I was 17 because it made me the safe driver I am today.
9) I am grateful for all the health difficulties I’ve had because they’ve led me to my passion for holistic healing.
10) I am grateful for the money in my bank account.

As you can see, your “gratefuls” can be about anything and everything.  You can write them or say them aloud or even just think them. They are especially helpful when you find yourself feeling depressed about the past or anxious about the future.  Thinking of everything that you’re grateful for is the key to staying present and opening yourself up to more and more good stuff! 

Try it right now and see how it makes you feel.  Comment below and share with us!  I would love to see your gratitudes!

Now that you’ve grounded yourself in the present, prepare for a better future by reading the Word of the Week, hope.

Fat Girls Float!

I invite you all to check this out!  I'll be interviewing the lovely Kira very shortly!

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from 300 pound filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya, who shares her message of perseverance and heart with the world.The film showcases intimate interviews with fat women from around the world who discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world. Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this next step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends. Donate Now.  Join us this Sunday, 11/15/09 at 7:00p.m. EST for a "meet the film maker" conference call and Fat Acceptance discussion. Check out the Fat Acceptance Salon for more details at http://www.meetup.com/SizeAcceptanceSalon/calendar/11829542/

Feeling The Feeling of Feeling

My Experiences Not Identifying Emotions

Feelings are a subject that’s near and dear to my heart, as I spent many years as an attorney who was more likely to spend her evenings at her desk than having fun. In those years, I honed a skill that many of us know all too well: hiding and ignoring my feelings. Well, that is, until every once in a while a television ad with an adorable puppy would send me into torrents of tears.

Frankly, I thought I was nuts - but I wasn’t really. I’d just made no room in my life for an emotional reality, so my emotions would corner and overwhelm me.

I’ve since learned that acknowledging how I feel throughout the day allows me to enjoy the flow of my life and to stay in touch with my truth.  Acknowledging how something makes me feel permits me either to change the situation or look at how I might feel better about it.

For example, if you have a friend who talks negatively about everyone and you find that being around that person makes you feel drained and annoyed, you can do a few things:
(a) tell your friend how you feel,
(b) spend less time with your friend, or
(c) decide that you’re no longer going to let that person’s negativity affect you. 

However, if you never spent the time to acknowledge your feelings about this friend, you might never realize the variety of actions you could take.

How To Apply This Tip In Your Life

Acknowledging your feelings is also a key component of breaking patterns you’ve been using to numb your feelings.  For example, if you’re looking to disrupt a pattern of spacing out for hours and hours playing computer games or munching mindlessly, try stopping whatever you’re doing, taking a few deep breaths, and asking yourself, “How am I feeling?” “What am I avoiding?”

Once you’ve identified your feelings, try to actually feel them in your body.  If you find that you’re feeling sad, maybe you just need to relax and cry or ask a loved one for a hug.  If you’re feeling angry, you may need to tell someone how you feel or punch a pillow or yell at the top of your lungs for a minute.  You may even find that once you’ve acknowledged the feeling it goes away, changes, or even reveals something else deeper and more important to you.

Whatever you are feeling is perfect and alright.  You’re not too emotional and you’re not being unreasonable, so there’s no need to judge yourself.  You’re just feeling.  Your emotions connect you to you, to your truth and to your desires.

Experiment with identifying your emotions throughout the week, and notice how that new-found identification affects your life!

Please share your experiences implementing this tip with me and the community by commenting below. Also, feel free to ask any questions.

You have only a few days to sign up for my latest teleclass at a super low rate. If you want to try out Health At Every Size for yourself, here is your chance!

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